Always Together, Never Apart
by Rawiyah
Summary: It was all a part of her madness, the rage that consumed her being and overthrew all reasons and recognition…. The time she spent locked away only ensured it. A look into Lucille's deteriorating condition. Brief mention of rape and very non-detailed talk of incest. One-shot
**Author's Notes:**

This is a one-shot. I've noticed with another one-shot I wrote that people were following it? I just want to let people know right away that this is a one-shot, so there's not much point in following it because there will be no more updates on this story. This story is complete and finished.

Okay, that's all I wanted to say for now.

P.S. This is also my first Crimson Peak fanfiction!

* * *

It had been the fifth or fourth night in a row that Lucille came back to their room, her clothes torn and ratty and her face and legs coated slick with her own blood. Thomas could never get used to seeing his sister in such a state. It didn't help that their mother enabled the abuse by turning a blind eye whenever their father got drunk and seemed to be more interested in taking Lucille to bed than their own mother. Still, Thomas knew better than to defy Lucille's warning:

" _You don't need to protect me, Thomas… "_

" _I am doing this for you… So we can be together…"_

" _Remember, always together, never apart."_

 **Apart**. Apart was such an ugly word. Thomas could only wonder what it was exactly that his sister meant by it. Apart. Separated? Or growing distant? Thomas was so young, he could only listen to his sister's word and bask in the dim light that she would be his salvation.

 **. . . .**

It was a long time coming when Father Sharpe finally left the house. Though, Lucille didn't rejoice just yet, as her brother had. There was still another parasite that needed to be eradicated. Of course, Father Sharpe did leave a souvenir before he left… Their mother's broken foot. Which mean, that Lucille would care for their mother.

It was actually quite ironic. The very woman who showed little care for them ended up needing care herself. Lucille felt a strange wave of calm despite her lot in life, which was to be their mother's caretaker for quite some time. However, while Thomas, being such a young child then, was developing sympathy for their injured mother, Lucille was developing something much different.

It started rather suddenly. After father left, Lucille started hearing things that weren't there; things that no one else seemed to neither see nor hear. Lucille was convinced it was the spirits of the past Sharpes. Though, she only told Thomas of it, no one else. Lucille may have been going mad, but she definitely wasn't stupid. As brave as she pretended to be, Lucille honestly hated Mother's rage, Mother's cane.

Ah, but there was no more beatings to come from Mother… and with Father gone; there'd be no more abuse from him either. None for her and none for sweet Thomas. The possibilities were beginning to appear before her eyes. The madness began to grow within her, festering and multiplying in volume.

"They're speaking again…" Lucille warned Thomas, who was fighting sleep by her side. Thomas' eyes slowly peeled open and he looked at Lucille, trying his best to listen and stay awake. "They're… asking me something."

Thomas didn't understand what was going on with his sister. He did worry about her, but he could only assume for now, that she was right. Maybe some spirits of the Sharpe mansion really were talking to her. Thomas didn't respond, he just leaned his head back down on her arm and began to doze off again, this time for good. Lucille looked at her younger brother. He was absolutely perfect to her. The perfect gentleman, the sweetest, most perfect little boy… She'd had a hand in raising him, after all, and Lucille was proud of what she'd accomplished.

The voices told her that men everywhere were just like her father… Cruel, selfish, brutal. She would make sure that Thomas never became a man like that. She'd groom Thomas into the perfect gentleman. She alone would do this. No one else.

"Always together, never apart." Lucille whispered as she planted a soft kiss on her baby brother's head.

 **. . . .**

The next sign began when Lucille started _seeing_ things. She claimed they were spirits, but Thomas wasn't quite convinced. Yet, he loved his sister dearly to tell her otherwise. The spirits started influencing Lucille in a way that frightened Thomas as a child. Lucille began to capture butterflies in the spring and feed them to the moths. She took a sickening pleasure in watching the butterflies being devoured alive, their wings fluttering and their legs kicking to get away.

Lucille then started to talk to herself, talking in honest conversations that Thomas couldn't quite follow. She was determined, but… for what? As he watched Lucille "care" for their mother, he noticed something in Lucille had changed. Lucille was no longer neutral about the exchanges with her mother… She would now leave their mother's room in a pure, wild rage. She never raised a hand to strike Thomas, but there were times when she seemed angry enough (and crazy enough) that she might've.

No one knew what was going on in Lucille's head.

"You ask too much of me!" Lucille shouted into the air in front of her. It made Thomas jump a little as he watched from his sister's bed; watching as she paced back and forth in her room, arguing with these spirits… these _ghosts_ that haunted her.

 **. . . .**

"You ask too much of me!" Lucille was growing frustrated with the ghosts that began to torment her each day. They taunted her, told her all the terrible things she was destined to do. All the horrible, horrible things. "I… I can't do it!"

 _Yes, you can. She's hurt you enough, she is weak._

Lucille didn't notice her frightened brother sitting on the bed. The spirits had given her this plan a long time ago, a plan to murder their mother… A plan to finally be free.

 _Always together, never apart._

It sounded wonderful, it sounded like the most perfect idea. Yet, Lucille wasn't strong enough. She knew she wasn't. She would have to let the rage burn a little longer before she could gain the strength to kill her own mother. But, that didn't stop those terrible spirits from taunting Lucille more. They knew her deepest fears… Thomas.

"Thomas…?!"

"Lucille?" Thomas was visibly scared. Lucille noticed the way he cowered against the wall as he sat on the bed.

Of course! Thomas. The spirits knew Lucille's fears; that Thomas would grow up to be a mean, cruel man. Right now he was just a boy… A boy that could be molded and shaped into whatever she wished he'd become. Lucille would make Thomas love her in every sense of the word.

.

It started slowly; Lucille started to show Thomas her idea of "love", which, she had partially learned from Father. Except, with Father it wasn't love… With Thomas, it was pure. It was love. To be loved back was a great feeling, none that Lucille had experienced quite before. Lucille thought she loved Thomas… but she, instead, loved the feeling of being loved. She planted thoughts in Thomas' head, reminders that she would be the only girl he ever loved. She alone was the only one who protected him from mother's cane, thus, she alone deserved his love.

The relationship grew. The more love Lucille received, the less she was able to give in return, the more her heart hardened. Still, she was not yet cold blooded enough to murder her mother and the spirits of Allerdale Hall were not yet satisfied.

.

They weren't careful one night. In fact, they were the opposite of careful. How coincidental that one of the first few nights that Mother was able to move around on her own would be the night that she and Thomas would get caught.

When Mother walked into the room and saw Lucille and Thomas, both naked, bodies entangled, she was, at first, in shock. Only staring at Lucille and Thomas is utter disbelief. Then, the next thing Lucille knew, her mother snatched her by the arm and dragged her out of the room with Lucille crying out in protest the entire time. Mother dragged Lucille up to the nursery in the attic, closing and locking the door behind her.

Lucille pounded on the door viciously, threatening Mother if she laid a hand on Thomas.

It went silent for a little while; there was nothing to be heard except for Lucille's sharp breaths and her heart pounding in her ribcage. Lucille pressed her ear against the door and listened.

A high pitched scream ripped through the silence and struck Lucille's ears.

Immediately she threw herself against the door in an attempt to help Thomas. She should have known Mother would blame Thomas for what happened between them. It seemed that the spirits only came to her during her time of need… They came and they beckoned her to kill her mother. Finally, the spirits would be satisfied. Lucille was ready.

.

After spending a couple of days locked in the nursery, the spirits divulged their plan to Lucille. Lucille was tired of being separated from the only love she knew… The only sick, twisted sense of love and desire she felt coming from Thomas every time he looked at her…. Well, it was time to make things right, so they could truly be together forever.

Mother had fallen ill again and she'd let Lucille out of the nursery to help her. Lucille suggested mother take a bath, and she went to the washroom to run the water for Mother. When Mother came down and settled herself in the water, Lucille left her to be alone…

. . . .

Thomas was shaken by the sound of a piercing scream and a sickening crack. He froze in place and listened carefully. Immediately, his first thought was that Mother had finally killed Lucille. Mother got tired of Lucille constantly disappointing her and she murdered Lucille and was coming up the steps to kill him too. With each footstep that he heard squeaking against the wooden floor, he shrank further and further into himself.

When Lucille opened the door, he felt a weight lifted from his shoulders. Thomas ran to Lucille and hugged her tightly. All she said was,

"Always together, never apart."

.

It didn't take long for the police to arrive. One of the few mine workers had heard the scream from the foot of the house and barged in to find out why their Lady was screaming… The next moment, the police were on the scene. They looked for suspects but there were none. None but Lucille and Thomas. However, the police decided that they couldn't blame the children for the death of their mother; they couldn't sentence them to anything…

They asked some questions and scared Thomas. Lucille was viciously protecting him. The police asked her about her mother, what happened, where she was at the time of her death. Lucille, instead, shared with them her gifts of hearing the spirits of Allerdale Hall. She shared with them the ghosts and the voices and the police nodded and took notes. All the while, Thomas stared at Lucille with wide eyes, knowing that the talk of ghosts, voices, spirits… it all sounded,

"Crazy." One officer whispered to the other. They didn't think Thomas could hear them, probably because he was a young child. Of course, they were wrong. Thomas' sense of hearing was very keen. The police officers both reached out to grab Lucille's arms and Lucille shouted in protest. "Come on, little miss. We're going to take you somewhere nice."

Thomas watched in horror as Lucille kicked and squirmed against them. He found his feet were glued to the floor in fear and shock. Once Lucille had almost disappeared out of the door, Thomas began to move again and he shouted for Lucille, screamed for Lucille, running after her, only to be caught by the clergymen who had come to pray for Mother's spirit. Thomas fought against the clergyman with tooth and nail but it did little good. Lucille was being taken away… they would be "apart" in a real sense.

"Lucille!" Thomas called, but Lucille was no longer fighting and she no longer screamed. She was going with the police officers willingly now. At first it confused Thomas, but now he understood. He could almost hear her telling him, "…. Always together, never apart."

.

Thomas was sent to boarding school. All the while, missing Lucille and feeling a constant emptiness despite being surrounded by new friends and an opportunity to develop healthy relationships. He never told anyone about his sister. No one ever asked, but he felt better when he wasn't thinking of Lucille. Still, he wondered where she was in the world… What happened to his beautiful sister?

. . . .

"Nice" didn't begin to describe the institution where Lucille was taken. It was unnaturally dark in the asylum and there were many areas that were covered in dust, mold and other unsavory substances. The only good thing was that she was given her own room; it was more like a cell in a prison than a room. It had a single bed, a single table and chair and only one window. Lucille spent most of her time staring out of that window, or journaling her thoughts on scraps of paper with pieces of lead that she'd scrounged for under tables and chairs in the cafeteria.

They, (the doctors) asked her many questions about the spirits, the ghosts, and the voices. Lucille was brave and answered them all. Though, perhaps bravery wasn't exactly what it was. Maybe there was some part of her that honestly believed she could be helped. The doctors offered her many different forms of treatment… There was opium, talk therapy, art therapy…. But none of them ever cured Lucille or even made her feel any better. Her condition got worse with each passing day.

The doctors started to watch Lucille more carefully now, sometimes even placing a nurse at her door to remain there all night to watch Lucille's every move.

"She can't be alone." Lucille heard one nurse say to another…. As if Lucille wasn't right there listening. Those words sank deep into Lucille's spirit. The nurse was right, that was why Lucille was doing so poorly, she can't be alone. Being away from Thomas like this was slowly killing her, the worst kind of torture she'd yet experienced in her life. There were days when Lucille would be awake all night, babbling to herself and banging her head against the stone walls. Nurses came and tried to comfort Lucille, yet none of it really worked, and Lucille continued to bang her head in sadness and anger.

After a few weeks of head banging, Lucille was forced into restraints on her bed at night. It wasn't out of malice or to torture Lucille, it was simply for Lucille's safety. Though, Lucille didn't know that and Lucille would scream all night long until her voice became raw and she could no longer speak or scream.

.

It went on like this for days, months… Only in the last year did Lucille finally accept the treatment and start to show, 'improvement'. Well, improvement wasn't quite what it was. Lucille just became compliant. It was almost as though she had lost her will to do anything. She lost all the fight that kept her alive all these years and she became an empty shell of what she used to be.

The nurses suggested that she send letters to someone she loved. They gave her pencils and paper, but Lucille didn't feel like writing. Nothing could cure the insatiable pit of nothingness inside of her. The longer the days became, the more compliant and quiet Lucille became as well.

. . . .

It was a warm day in spring when Thomas had finally gotten word of Lucille's location. He was both excited and scared to see his sister again. It had been an awfully long time and he hadn't heard from her until recently, through a letter she decided to send to his school. Though, it had been about a year since Thomas left school. He was an adult now, after all.

Thomas approached the asylum with obvious hesitation. He'd never seen the inside of an institution like that before and it frightened him a little that Lucille was inside a place such as that. Still, he swallowed the fear that got stuck in his throat and made his way inside. It felt like a long walk from his carriage to the building…

When Thomas was inside it looked very dank and dark. He could imagine the horrors that went on at a place such as this. He spoke to the receptionist and requested to see Lady Lucille Sharpe. The receptionist seemed nice enough, a young woman, probably mid-twenties with long, red hair. Thomas waited patiently as the receptionist looked through a neat pile of papers for Lucille's information. When she found it, she nodded to Thomas and gestured for him to follow her.

The walk through the asylum left Thomas was a sour taste in his mouth. It wasn't nearly as bad as he'd pictured, but it wasn't great either. The walls were terribly white and there was minimal natural light. The doors were all the same, no numbers. Just carbon copies of each other with a small window in the middle. When they reached Lucille's door, Thomas sucked in a deep breath, not knowing what to expect when he saw Lucille again. The nurse did tell him, however, that she would have to supervise their visit.

. . . .

Lucille waited a long time for this day to come. When the door opened and she saw her brother standing there, her heart felt as though it exploded inside of her chest. She cried. Thomas set down his hat on the bed next to her and rushed over to her side, where he embraced her and squeezed her tightly. Lucille continued to cry into his shoulder. Her brother was a man, a tall, beautiful man and she was pleased with herself that Thomas turned out so well despite being separated for so long.

She cried for a long time, not knowing what to say to Thomas after all these years. She should have been angry that he wasn't able to visit her until now, but she found she was so overwhelmed with happiness that he was even here, that he even remembered her, that she couldn't be angry at Thomas. When she finally did speak again, it was only to shower her brother with praise and to convey the heavy sadness she felt in his absence.

She didn't let go of Thomas for quite a while. She just held him there, clinging to the only scrape of life she felt she ever had. Lucille didn't even realize how this was affecting Thomas.

. . . .

Thomas turned to the nurse when Lucille finally did let go, he'd never seen his sister so… needy like this. Lucille used to be such a headstrong, independent girl. Now, she'd grown into a dead, compliant shell of a woman. That was unacceptable to Thomas and he turned to the nurse.

"What can I do to request custody of her?"

The nurse babbled off some stuff about legality and having her case presented in front of a court of law. Thomas didn't have the money to take it to court. Despite being a baronet, he had nothing to his name. The mines have probably fallen into disrepair now that he and his sister, the sole heirs of Allerdale Hall have been gone for so long. Thomas was desperate. He asked to talk to the nurse's superior.

. . . .

Thomas was finally taking Lucille home. He needed to be there for his sister. He let her words echo in his mind, her ideas. She was the only woman he would ever love, she protected him from Mother's beatings so she alone was worthy of his love. He needed to do this for her, she deserved it. Lucille had been there for Thomas his whole life, it was now time for him to be there for her.

He brought Lucille into Allerdale Hall with a sense of dread and sorrow. The roof was nearly eroded completely away and when they stepped on the wood of the floor it sank under their feet and pushed out a deep, blood colored clay. Thomas hated that they had to come back to Allerdale Hall. He wanted to leave, but Lucille was attached to the house.

He remained quiet as Lucille slipped away from him and wandered the house, taking in every detail and every quiet memory that was etched into the walls and the décor. She seemed almost as though she were a part of the house itself. It almost felt as though Lucille weren't even a person, instead she was just a relic that was locked away with the rest of the secrets of the house.

Thomas watched as she ran up the stairs and ran to her own room. She seemed excited to be back. It gave Thomas a weird taste in his mouth and left a sour feeling in his stomach. This was the place where their mother was _murdered_. He couldn't find joy in a place such as this.

Lucille must've noticed Thomas' demeanor, as the next time she came running down the stairs, she paused to get a good glimpse of Thomas. He looked… pitiful. Sad.

"What's wrong, dear?" Lucille asked. Thomas wanted to be honest with her; he wanted to tell her that he didn't like Allerdale Hall. Or, "Crimson Peak". He wanted to leave, to go someplace where he could truly be happy. "You're not happy." Lucille spoke for him.

"We have nothing Lucille… The house is decaying; the mines are out of commission."

Lucille's hands touched Thomas's face and she looked disheartened for a moment. Then, her eyes widened and she looked at Thomas with a wicked, crazed smile.

"They're speaking to me again, Thomas!"

Thomas inwardly groaned. Not this again… This was the entire reason that Lucille was placed in the asylum to begin with. It hurt him to know that she was still being haunted by the ghosts and that she was still so convinced they were there. Thomas had wanted to believe that she was cured, that maybe they really could live together in harmony without anyone knowing their secret and without being disturbed by the ghosts or the madness that Lucille was clearly showing.

"They've given me a plan, Thomas!" Lucille's smile grew. "We will have money, Thomas… Let me worry about it, sweetheart, I will take care of it for the both of us. I will take care of you."

 **. . . .**

Years later, wives later and a dead baby later… if Crimson Peak wasn't filled with ghosts before, it most certainly was now. With the deaths of Thomas' wives, he was certain their souls were wandering, lost in the hallways of Allerdale Hall. Now, a new woman had entered Thomas' life and things were different. He was starting to second guess the things Lucille told him all his life…

Lucille said that she was the only woman he could ever love. She was the only one who protected him and thus she was the only one who deserved his love. Only Lucille. No one else, no one. But when Thomas met Edith, he started to realize the lies Lucille was telling him. He could love someone else for a change; he had no obligation to his sister. She was abusing him, manipulating him.

For the first time in his life, he felt strong enough to stand up against Lucille…

"You are not to touch her!"

Lucille growled, the blood looking sharp and stark against the pale of her skin. "You're ordering me…" It almost sounded like a threat coming from Lucille. Thomas remained steadfast.

"We can leave, Lucille… leave Allerdale Hall."

 **. . . .**

"We can all be together."

That struck a chord in Lucille that she was certain Thomas was either not expecting, or clearly didn't know his own sister well enough to know that it would. Lucille looked at Thomas in disbelief, watching her fears become thrust before her eyes.

" **All**?"

Thomas had fallen in love with someone else! The perfect boy that she created was leaving her now, suddenly. The boy that she'd grown to adore and worship, the boy she'd raised and molded and shaped was now a man… And he would become a monster like their father. The fear rose up inside of Lucille's chest and made her angry. Thomas was no longer the man she loved, or thought she did. Thomas was going to become a man like their father, one who would only hurt Lucille and nothing more.

Without much thought, Lucille stabbed Thomas with her knife. She didn't really care that she was hurting Thomas, the only thought in her mind was that Thomas was ruined and must be destroyed. The child she raised was now a man and he must be eliminated because he was growing up all wrong. Lucille watched the pleading look on Thomas' face, but her heart was too hard to accept his fear and his humanity. She stabbed him in the face, swiftly without much thought.

It was only when she realized that she was destroying Thomas, it was then she immediately began to regret what she had done. The love that she'd received from Thomas would be love she would receive from no one else.

Just as she alone had built Thomas, she alone destroyed him.

. . . .

She welcomed death when it finally came to it. Lucille guessed she would have to thank Edith for killing her quickly. Lucille was sad and remained sad for most of her life. Even in death, as she wandered the decaying hallways of Allerdale Hall, she found she had died the same way she lived.

Alone.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

Okay, so, this is my first CP fanfic. It came to me in a rather graphic dream, where I was Edith and I was watching Lucille as she was being abused. Lately, my dreams have been haunted by abuse and death. I don't know why and I DO NOT appreciate it, but they are.

So I immediately woke up from a nightmare and I jotted down a summary for a story about Lucille I wanted to write. Firstly, I don't think there's enough love for Lucille in fanfics. I think a lot of fanfics with Lucille in them are usually briefly talking about Lucille's struggles, but never talking about Lucille's POV. I love stories that tell the POV of the villain, that is what I am really good at writing most of the time.

I'm taking a short break from my other story, "The Renewal" because I have come to a writer's block for that, but when this story popped up into my mind I just had to write it.

I have been inside of psychiatric hospital units before and I have been diagnosed with a psychotic disorder so I felt that would make the most sense for me to write about Lucille's struggle with psychosis which is the reason for her insanity. I honestly don't believe that people are born evil. I believe something in them influences them and makes them evil. That is where this story came from. Now, I had to research treatment for psychosis back in the late 19th century because while I know a lot about treatment for schizophrenia in modern hospitals, I don't know a lot about it back then. I hope it's accurate, but I guess there's no real way to tell.

Anyway, please review! I love hearing from the people who read my stories and I like improving on my writing, so if you have any constructive criticism I will accept that too.

Thanks.

\- Rawiyah


End file.
